Did you smile today?

Understanding Silence

Always, many people have the chance to experience and undergo a much greater life; it is one’s choice.

Abundance, peace and happiness are one’s inheritance that is only achieved when one practices centering and quieting the mind. It is not easy to achieve, especially in a very noisy society, but it can be done.

The mind is constantly noisy. It is constantly invaded by our thoughts. Such time, when the streams of thoughts are blocked off, a different section of the mind that which is bestowed with the capability of transforming knowledge into virtually usable concepts becomes active.

The moment that busy thoughts recedes, silence then go deep into the mind. Your present thoughts, knowledge transform into constructive ideas and intellectual thinking should all stop in order for that silence can enter the mind.

However, how this can be achieved is a challenge. Our chattering mind is never quiet, and through the mouth, it expresses itself.

Meditation provides an entryway so as to calm the mind and retrieve answers beyond the problem. Where the body requires regular exercise to retain its strength, so does the mind needs constant practice to quiet down its unpredictable feelings and thoughts.

To silence the mind one needs the courage so to release and set free your past. One has to forgo the inflicted pain upon which one attains a certain sense of character which traps one in his past.

To silence the mind, one also needs the courage to release his expectation, fear and doubts about the future and to only live only for the present, which the only period and phase of one’s life that one can and should exist.

It is only by existing in the present that success and failure no longer offer one the identity to which one depends. It is when one connects to the quietness underneath one’s mental commotion that one finds inner peace. It is 'here' alone, the present that one can forgive and live in abundance as one has left all his negative baggage behind.

Someone?

Have you ever come across some occasions where you wish that someone could do something to the situation?

A few days ago, while watching a documentary series, they were featuring countries such as Vietnam, Mongolia and other 3rd World countries where the children are being exploited to work in the bricks factories, child prostitution or the rubbish dump to earn a living. I was thinking to myself why can’t someone help these children? In my heart, I was wishing that someone could be there to help them.

At that moment, a thought arises that why can’t that someone be me? It occurs to me that we often wish for things to happen by someone else’s effort and all we do is sit back to “watch the show”. Why can’t we take some actions and be that someone?

Realizing what a bum I am, I look up the internet and happened to find World Vision, a charitable organization actively involved in community projects in these 3rd world countries and they also have a child sponsored program.

While I could not be physically there to help these people, I donated a sum of money to World Vision to support the initiative they are working on. I really admired the real angels who are volunteering their time to help out in these projects. They are the true someone. At this point, I am still not the true someone, but at least I take an action to contribute instead of wishing that someone could do something.

Hopefully, there aren’t many bums like me around. With Christmas just round the corner, it is a good time to open our heart and share our generosity. Why not take some actions and be someone today?

Relativity

Hot and cold cannot coexist
They are relativity
Every moment is a comparison and judgment
~ Spiritual Master

Walk your own path

When it is time to move on, do we have the courage to venture into the unknown? We like comfort and everyone has their own comfort zone. Most of the time we stay where we are not because we think it is right, but because we are comfortable.

How many of us are really doing the things that we want to do? Living the life that we want to live? We are bound by so many of our own limitations. Typically, these limiting thoughts will stop us from proceeding to where we want to be. Doubts and fear will consume us and prevent us from exploring further, whether it is career, relationship or spiritual.

I am now at the crossroad of my career. To stay or to leave? To get a job or be self-employed? Should I follow my heart to do what I wanted to do or to go back to work in the corporation, staying in my own comfort zone?

Over the past few days, many fears and doubts surfaced and it can be overwhelming. But in a way, I can know myself better at this point. What are my fears and what are my doubts and are they valid, can they be resolved.

Mentally exhausted, I dropped everything I am doing and took a moment to glance through my notebook where I wrote down many of the inspirational and enlightening quotes or extracts that I had came across. One of them wrote:

When you believe in life and fate, you will be bound by them
When you go against life and fate, you are riding a tough wave upstream
When you surrender to life and fate, you are clear of your objective and goals
You go where you want
Not against
Not following
But your own path!

When I think back, many times we victimized ourselves when we think there is nothing we can do to improve our life. When we have this limiting thought, we will bind by the situation and there seems no way out.

In another extreme, if we try to resist the current situation that we are in right now, we will always be dissatisfied and unhappy about the situation.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) had once said, “Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Indeed, when we walk our own path, we create our future and we shape our own world!

The world and I

If there were no me, my world wouldn’t exist

If my world doesn’t exist, there would be no me

Our greatest gift to the World

I was browsing the web sometime back when I came across Steve Pavlina’s blog. He talks about the need to define our life purpose and the importance of being congruent. In his article on Living Congruently, he wrote:

Alignment comes down to working on these four questions until they all produce the same answer:

• What do you want to do? (desire)
• What can you do? (ability)
• What should you do? (purpose)
• What must you do? (need)

Beautifully written. When we live congruently, our heart, our mind, our body and passion will be aligned in the same direction and it is easy to achieve fulfillment in every area.

Steve says that his life purpose is to serve and help people. When I saw his life purpose, I thought it is such a wonderful purpose to have but what do I have to help people? What do I have to give? I can’t have an answer. Frustrated, I put the thought aside and went on to do other stuff.

The questions are always on my mind. After a few weeks of questioning myself, I happened to listen to a talk from a spiritual teacher, which is totally enlightening and refreshing to me. Here is what he said :

We came with nothing
And we will return with nothing. We can’t take anything with us when we leave earth.
Since we can’t own anything and can’t have anything, what can we do with our life?
The only thing we can do with our life is to give it away. That is where we can find our purpose of life.
Giving away doesn’t mean giving our money or material stuff that we have. It means serving. Serving everyone and helping everyone whenever we can. That is our life purpose.

Indeed, for it is from giving that we will receive the most. This will be our greatest gift to the world.

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
-Kahlil Gibran-

Two Awards

I have received two awards from Lili of Feel Happy The title of her blog speaks for itself, I feel happy whenever I read her blog full of sincerity and honesty.

First Award

Second Award

Thanks Lili for your continuous support and your kindness.

Happiness is …

Once upon a time, there was a young girl, name Mara who lived in a village. The village was small but the people lived in peace and harmony. There were hardly any arguments in the family and between neighbors. Meals are simple and comprised of rice, green vegetable, potatoes and occasionally fish caught from nearby ponds.

Mara grew up with the rest of the children in the village. They loved to run around bare footed, climb the tallest trees and catch fishes and frogs from nearby ponds. Mara had a happy childhood and she loved the village and the villagers very much.

One day, a city dweller happened to pass-by the village and he asked for some water from Mara. Out of curiosity, Mara asked the city dweller how it was in the city. The city dweller told Mara about the tall buildings and the vibrant activities in the city. Mara got excited and wanted to go and see it for herself.

Mara went to the city with the city dweller. A month later, she came back to the village. Her friends were so happy to see her but Mara was not the same anymore. She started to complain about the dirt in her house and that her house and everything in it was so rundown. She felt that her friends were too childish to think of running around everyday. She was longing to return to the city and sulk every single day. Gone was the cheerful, happy Mara. Finally, after some struggling, she decided to pack up and went to live in the city.

Once in the city, Mara found a job that pays her enough to cover her rental in a small room and her meals. Mara started to know some friends and her life got on well. After a while, Mara started to feel that her dressing was too shabby compared to her friends and that she needed more money to buy newer and nicer clothes. She started to look for a new job with higher pay but more hours at work.

A few months later, she felt that she need a bigger room as her current one was too small and rundown, her friends were laughing at her. Yet a few months later, she felt she needed to go the hair salon more often and to go to a more posh restaurant, to live a more stylish lifestyle like her friends. Mara worked harder to get more money each time she wanted to improve her life.

The never ending pursue of material stuff left Mara physically and mentally tired. She started to miss home and of the happy days she had back in the village. One summer, she packed up and went back to her village.

Back in village, Mara now had more time to herself to really think about life. She wondered what happiness is. The more she contemplated, the more she understands the real happiness of life. As she sat on the green grass overlooking the ponds and the blue sky, she wrote in her diary:

I wake up in the morning and hear the birds singing,

I can feel the breeze on my face and the trees are whispering,

I can feel I’m standing on solid ground, strong and steady,

I can see the smile on the faces of my love ones,

I can hear the laughter of the children, loud and heartily,

No comparison, no materialistic, no gossiping,

To be here and now, to be where I am, to be contented with what I have

This is life…this is happiness!

Today is the day

Oh, I’ll write this tomorrow! Or maybe later!

Do you have a problem of procrastination? I do.

We are often guilty of procrastination. We tend to fall into this trap from time to time. At times, we try to avoid the things we are going to do, maybe it’s something we don’t like or we have doubt about. Or it can also be habitual. We are so comfortable with the current situation that we tend not to take action to delay our “suffering”.

Nonetheless, we did not realize that if we do not take any action now, we are only accumulating the issues on hand and when we face it later, the issues might have already gotten bigger and bigger. It happened to me that if I delay tidying up my room, weeks later, my room became so messy that I don’t know how to start organizing! My room is so cluttered that I procrastinate again and it just got messier!

The root of procrastination lies with our mindset. We often think we have a lot of time on hand. We think that “later” or “tomorrow” always exist. But life is so unpredictable. If we were to cultivate this habit of procrastination, even on a small issue, we will habitually delay even the important things in our life. Who knows what can happen “later” or “tomorrow”?

The main resolution - prioritize, prioritize, prioritize, action, action, action!

Prioritize your things on hand, set a timeline on when it has to be done and do it! Remember that tomorrow is a continuation of today. Today will be gone regardless of whether you have done anything and tomorrow might not come.

So next time when you find yourself saying, “Oh, maybe tomorrow!” Hmm.... snapped out of it!!!

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~ Don Marquis"

"You may delay, but time will not. ~ Benjamin Franklin"

Is what we see the truth?

Have we ever questioned ourselves if what we see is really the truth or are they illusion of our mind?

Think about the sun, does the sun really rise and set everyday? We thought we see the sunrise when the sun brightened up the sky in the morning and we thought we see the sunset when the sun disappeared behind the horizon. The fact is that the sun is always there regardless of time and day. But our mind can distort these simple truths and we start to live in our illusion.

Our world is filled with illusion and we love it this way. This is our comfort zone. If we travel out of earth to space, we can see clearly that sunrise and sunset does not exist. There is no gravity and thus things do not fall from high to low latitude. There is no left and right, no center and back, only vast emptiness.

There is no table but pieces of wood assembled together. There is no house but pieces of bricks and cement assembled together.

What illusion do we see today?

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein

Shadow of darkness

Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it's dark.

~Zen Proverb

Facing The Rejected Child

I was on the evening flight back to Singapore from Bangkok on Saturday 15 Sept. I was in Bangkok with my mum and my 2 sisters for holiday. The Airasia, budget airline was delayed for an hour at Bangkok airport. The sky was getting dark and some flashes of lightning were seen.

Onboard the plane, a 2hrs flight to Singapore, we came across many instances of air turbulence. My mum was so scared that she held on to her seat belt and awaits the landing at the Singapore Airport. There are times I had a vision of a plane crashing when it lands, the impact split the plane into 2 but there are survival on the plane. Maybe it is my fear or my imaginations that run wild. Never mind all these visions; I landed at Singapore Airport safe and sound. None the less, I lost my Handphone and all my contacts on the cab home.

The next day on Sunday 16 Sept, as I watched the news back home, I was shocked to find that there was really a plane that crashed and split into 2 at in Phuket airport! And there are some survivals onboard! This was not the first time I have visions that did come true. I have always had six sense that tell me what’s going to happen since young. My mum was the one who first realized I have this ability after a few incidents. However, these visions are often not very strong and at times I cannot differentiate which are the visions and which are my imaginations.

There was once when I feel like crying when I was showering but I do not know why. I rushed to put on my clothes and went to the hospital immediately. My grandma was in the hospital at that time. On the way there, I had vision of doctors and nurses rushing to my grandma’s bedside and I was crying all this while. When I reach her, she had already passed away. My dad was surprised to see me there and he relate to me that earlier, my grandma was gasping for air and the doctors and nurses rushed to her bedside, the exact description of what I saw in my vision.

When I was younger, I thought that these things happened because I thought of them and I will feel so bad and guilty about it. As I grew older, I actually got scared of this ability. I cannot differentiate whether it is real or it is my imagination and at times I will become paranoid. I hated and fear this sense and I wanted to avoid that part of me.

All these years I have been ignoring that part of me but the vision I have onboard the Airasia flight made me realized that it will still be part of me even if I ignore it. By rejecting and avoiding that part of me make me less complete and even feel inferior. As I read how Erin Pavilina came to accept her abilities, I hope I can eliminate my fear, embrace and accept it too. I would need much courage to face it and hopefully I can.

On Vacation

Territory Invasion

Walking down a path near my house the other day, I was surprised to see a large number of worms crawling on the ground. They were everywhere and some have been crushed by walkers on the path. The sight of them crawling around was horrifying and it gave me creeps. This is so unbearable. I had to tiptoe all the way across the path to avoid stamping on them.

A group of youngsters were walking in front of me and they were complaining about these creepy worms invading our “human territory” and that the worms should be destroyed. I was having the same feelings and was hoping for someone to clear up this mess.

Halfway through the path, I started to wonder why and where did these worms come from. I started looking around the path. At both sides of the path, stretch out two rows of beautiful flowers and green grass. Nothing seems to be wrong except that this nicely lay out path was recently constructed and the flowers and grass were just being planted 2 days ago. Which also means that the soil and the previous plants had been uprooted to make way for the new garden.

It suddenly occurs to me that the home of these worms had probably been destroyed! This causes them to wonder onto our “human territory”. I can’t help but started to feel some sympathy for these creepy crawlies. While we fought to resist the invasion of our territory, aren’t we the one who invaded their territory in the first place?

Should they be destroyed? While some do post some threats to the society, I think the biggest threat to the world is still us as humans. How many lives have we destroyed when we clear this piece of land? How many homes have we invaded?

While more and more forests are being cleared to construct new buildings, more animals, insects and birds are left homeless. Crows, insects and animals that came to our territory in search of food and home are seen as pests and nuisance to the society.

While I’m not a big fan of these crows, worms or insects, I certainly feel a bit more tolerant towards them. Knowing that they, like us, are looking for a home and food for survival. That’s all they are asking for.

Beyond the Roads

The roads of the Himalayas were endless. Everything was covered in snow. All I could see were endless valleys and winding roads. But I believe, beyond the roads there had to be something waiting for me.

- Japanese adventurer Anton Hiroyoshi

The challenges of Say No Evil

The one week Say No Evil bootcamp initiated by Karen has ended. The camp rule includes no lying, no flowery speech, no harsh speech. I have already broken one or more of the rules on day 1, day 2 and….. what a failure!

It is indeed challenging as we are all so used to our daily habits. Bad habits are implanted in us, like a deeply rooted weed in an unattended garden. If we want a beautiful garden, we have to constantly protect it from pollution and to regularly clear the weeds before it took over the flowers and plants.

This boot camp reminds us that it is time to do our gardening!

PS:One thought I have from this camp: When we refrain from harsh speech, do we still harbor harsh thoughts?

Personal Development List

Priscilla Palmer has started to compile a list of Personal Development blogs which includes any blog that we feel can benefit us in our growth process. I find that this is such a good idea. Now that we have the list, we can visit the good blogs that we would never have known.

I have been tagged by my friend Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness. Thanks Rick for adding me for the list. The personal development list is still growing, do check out the latest list at Priscilla’s website.

Personal Development List (up to 24 Aug 07):
· Aaron Potts at Today is That Day
· Adam Kayce at Monk at Work
· Alan Torres at Made to Be Great
· Albert Foong at urbanmonk.net
· Anita Pathik Law at Power of four Way
· Brian Kim at briankim.net
· Bob at everyeveryminute
· Christine Kane at ChristineKane.com
· Craig Harper at Motivational Speaker
· Dave Schoof at Engaging the Disquiet
· David Rogers at How to Have Great Self Confidence
· Dawud Miracle at dmiracle.com
· Donald Latumahina at Life Optimizer
· Dr. Hal at Northstar Mental fitness blog
· Edward Mills at Evolving Times
· Gleb Reys at Personal Development Ideas
· Gustav at Success-is-in-you.com
· Henrik Edberg at The Positivity Blog
· Jason Ivers at A Miracle a Day
· Jay White at dumb little man tips for life
· Jean Browman at Transforming Stress Into Power and Cheerful Monk
· Jerry Lopper at Personal Growth
· John Place at John Place Online
· John Wesley at Pick The Brain
· Josh Bickford at Reach For Magnificence
· Kammie Kobyleski at Passion Meets Purpose
· Karen Lynch at Live The Power
· Kim George at Doing What You Can Do
· Kirsten Harrell at Ipopin
· K.L. Masina at Be Conscious Now
· Lee Nutter at bmindful
· Leo Baruta at Zen Habits
· Life Reflection at Universe in a Single Atom
· Liz Strauss at Successful Blog
· Lola Fayemi at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development
· Lorraine Cohen at Powerfull Living
· Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life
· Maria Palma at The Good Life
· Mark McManus at Build Your Life To Order
· Martin Avis at Kickstart Daily
· Michelle Moore at Happiness Blog
· Nancy Tierney at Unconditional Confidence
· Nneka at Balanced Life Center
· Pamm Larry at My Spiritual Dance
· Paul at Paul’s Tips
· Peter at I Will Change Your Life
· Phil Gerbyshak at Make It Great
· Priscilla Palmer at Personal Development Demands Success
· Raymond Salas at Zenchill Powertools
· Reg Adkins at ElementalTruths
· Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness
· Scott Bernadot at Keeping The Secret
· Shauna Arthur at Breathing Prosperity and Follow Your Path
· Steve Olson at Steve-Olson.com
· Steve Pavlina at stevepavlina.com
· Ted Demopoulos at Blogging For Business
· Thom Quinn at Qlog
· Tim Ferris at 4-Hour Workweek and Lifestyle Design Blog
· Tony D Clark at Success From The Nest
· Troy Worman at Orbit Now!
· Vickie at Contemplate This
· WildBill at PassionateBlogger
and these collaborated sites:
· Life Coaches Blog Stratagies for a Greater Life

And here are my top 5 blogger list:
· Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness
· Karen at Journey with Water Learner
· Sam at Acquire Wisdom and Live with Passion
· Robert at Compassionate Council
· Mark at The Naked Soul

What is pain? Part II

Jennifer pointed out that pain is in the brain. Our receptor sensory nerves detect the area that is wounded or needed attention and send a message to the brain, which interpret it as pain. Mark and Lili pointed out that pain is in our mind.

Very interestingly, under meditation, if we observe pain, there are 2 types of pain as discussed above. One is physical pain and the other is mental pain. Our brain detects the physical pain but it is our mind that holds on to this pain mentally.

As Mark pointed out, different people seem to have a different tolerant level to pain. What makes these differences is the level of control we have mentally. How we view pain can greatly alter our tolerant to pain.

I am not very good at meditation, however I have tried it a couple of times to look at pain. I tried to concentrate at my pain area, and strangely the pain disappears and all I can feel are pulses on my nerves in that area. There are times where the pulses are not very obvious, the pain is still there but strangely, I feel disconnect with this pain at the mind level. What this means is that I feel the physical pain but not at the mental pain.

There is always a saying that my body is sick but my mind is not. At the mind level, we can control or eliminate our mental pain. Often, people commit suicide because of mental pain. The pain of losing their love ones, the pain of losing their money, the pain of losing their reputation are all pain at the mind level.

Perhaps just like the story in What is Pain? we can’t possibly live with a bad leg and wake up in pain everyday, we should do a check from day to day and amputate that ‘bad leg’ that is preventing us from living fully.

Or perhaps we should do a check to see if these are ‘real’ pain in the first place. Sometimes the bad leg is already gone but as long as we hold on to it mentally, we will always feel the pain. As what Karen had realized in the story, this applies to all undesirable things in our life.

We should have the courage to face our pain, amputate it when needed and tackle it at the mind level. Let’s hope for less pain in this world.

What is Pain?

Up till today, scientist has very little understanding of how pain works. Some scientists describe pain as “a complex mixture of emotions, culture, experience, spirit and sensation."

I came across a very interesting situation when watching a drama show.

A patient’s right foot was infected with flesh-eating bacteria. For the past few days, he had been living in agony and pain in his right foot. The infection was so bad that the doctor had no choice but to amputate his right leg, from the knee down.

After the operation, his right leg, from the knee down was gone. But for the next few days, the patient still complains about pain in his right leg.

There was once in the lift, he met with a very experience doctor. He told the doctor, there is still pain in his right leg. The doctor asked him to close his eyes, feel the pain and tell him where the pain is. He close his eyes and told the doctor, the pain is in his right foot, and he then uses his hands and try to touch his right foot where the pain was.

Of course, he couldn’t feel anything down there as his right foot had already been amputated. Shocked, he looked at the doctor. The doctor then explained to him that the painful part of his leg is already gone, but his mind has yet adjusted to the new situation.

Now comes the big question.

If his leg is gone but he is still feeling the same pain, is the pain in his leg or in his mind all this time?

Surprise Surprise

I thought I should take some time this week to thank a few people that are very important to my blog.

Universe in a single atom started on 22 June 07, my very first blog. I’m very new to blogging and I don’t blog everyday as I am holding a full time job. I am still learning and blogging at the same time.

Nearly 2 months into blogging, I got so much surprises and so much support from the folks at Bloglog which totally surprises me.

I got 2 Inspirational Blogger Awards this month, first from Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness and the other from Trish at Breathing. I really appreciate them for giving me this award and it really gives me a lot of encouragement.

Jennifer has a wonderful blog. I really think she deserves the Inspirational Blogger Award. Her blog provides a lot of insights & awareness and it really inspires people.

I love what Trish says about truth “What seems to me to be truth one day may pass like the wind through the trees and disappear the next”. Trish only listened to the heart speak and those who speak from the heart are the most inspiring people.

So much surprises and I really want to say a big thank you to all of you.

Ever since I started blogging, I have visited many great blogs. And here are some of them that I think deserve the awards.

Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness. Rick’s blog is devoted to provide information that will help in changing beliefs and creating a better life. Rick mentioned about my blog A Peep at the Monster in his Sunday Reading 15 July 2007. That was my fifth writing and that has given me so much encouragement to keep writing. Thank you Rick!

Karen at Journey at Water Learner. Living a life with awareness. Thought provoking and enlightening blog filled with honesty.

Sujit at gurushabad. Great music accompanied by great wisdom. Knowing ownself is wisdom, I love that.

Joel at Fearless Dreams. Great articles, informative and inspiring. A blog worth reading.

Jackal at Jackal. Jackal suffers from mental illness (borderline personality disorder). She had recently been awarded the courageous award but I still wanted to give this to her as she really deserves this. Jackal, be brave.

To read more about the Inspirational Blog Award please visit Christy at Writer's Review.

Value of human life?

When it comes to precious and valuables gems and diamond, there are some who like to collect, some like to show it off as a form of status, others aspire to have them. I was thinking what gives things a value? When it comes to fashion, gems, electronics, what gives them a value? From economist’s point of view, it is the demand and supply that give rise to the value of an item. From marketer’s point of view, the value is determined by the perceived benefits successfully portrayed in a series of advertisements, packaging, display, location of sales, etc.

This means that there is no fixed value on any item. The value of all things in this world is fixed by each individual. The market can fix a Tag watch at $1,000, but I can value this watch at $2,000 and I would think that at $1000, I actually got a good bargain. On the other hand, if I value this watch at only $500, I would not pay for that price they are selling.

A lot of the determine factor for the value came from the expectation of society, the people around us, the advertisements, our family, added to this expectation. Diamonds and gems, perceived to be valuable, portrayed as prestige by marketers, are valued at high price by the society.

Anyone that has watched the movie on Blood Diamond, will probably give a second thoughts when it comes to buying diamonds. Greed propels some beings to value money and gems more than anything else. It is just madness that we human are willing to sacrifice the precious life of another human just to get a piece of element existed in this world, excavated from the earth FREE.

It really makes me wonder, how much is our human life worth?

With no marketers and no demand and supply to fix a price, what is the perceived value of a human life?

Riding the Roller Coaster

The past few days have been a roller coaster ride for me. One moment I’m happy, the next moment I fell into frustration and the next I’m depressed. Work has been frustrating. I became so emotionally tired.

I started to blame the company, the management, the processes, colleagues and everyone else. I begin to hope for a new job, new colleagues, new management. Maybe things will be better if I change a new environment. I wanted to escape from all these unhappiness, from all these madness and I wanted to look for happiness and peace somewhere else.

Then I begin to wonder, how many times have I experience these before? How many escapes have I made in the past? I have been changing jobs, always in search of a “better place”.

I realized that there is no better place in our outer world. Things and people always change. The things that bring us happiness today, might not bring us happiness tomorrow. For example, my manager praise me yesterday and I became very happy, but today, he reprimanded me and I became depressed and frustrated.

I always thought that I would be happier if I get a new job, or a new bag or a new mobile. But that happiness only lasted very briefly. So I concluded that true happiness and peace couldn’t be found externally.

If we continued to search for peace and happiness in all these things out there, we will always be riding the roller coaster, up one day and down the other. True peace lies in the heart. What this means is that we should practice looking inwards for inner peace.

When we look inwards, we will see that a lot of our unhappiness came about because we are either constantly looking to escape from this unpleasant situation or we are constantly looking forward to new pleasure. When we are here, we wish to be there. We can’t be truly enjoying.

It is time to stop whining and stop escaping. I’ll pack up my emotional baggage and start breathing.

Me, My, Mine

Recently, I came across a young child who was diagnosed with leukemia (a cancer of the bone marrow in which abnormal types and amounts of cells are made). The medical team tries to find a matching bone marrow to conduct a bone marrow transplant and finally found one matching bone marrow donor.

When contacted, the donor is more than happy to save a life and his wife is supportive of his decision to donate his own bone marrow. He went through a series of health check and tests. The final consultation with the doctor was quite positive.

In asia culture, it is considered filial to seek parent’s blessing and approval before donating any part of the body. When doing so, he encountered huge disapproval from his parents. Reason being the patient is unrelated and is not necessary to take the risk and cause harm to own health.

It is so sad but I think to certain extent, we are all selfish in certain ways, especially when it comes to things that we deem to belong to us. My son, my bag, my computer. It is ok for someone’s PC to crash but not mine. It is ok for someone to suffer but not me and my family. We just don’t feel the same pain we will feel if these things or events happen to others versus “me”.

It is because of our selfish thoughts that we tend to forget that we are all interdependent in this world. The bread that we eat came about from the effort of many other people. From the people who sell them, to the people who bake them, to the people who sell the flour, eggs, even to the people who plant wheat and rear chicken. How many people that we do not known of are involved in the process?

We cannot live alone in this world, we are interdependent of each other. Only when we discard our selfishness and learn to be grateful to each other, this world will be a better world.

PS: To find out more about donating bone marrow to save lives, please visit

http://www.marrow.org/

http://www.bmdp.org/

The Best Way

The best way to benefit others is to reduce our selfish mind.

Money is NOT the root of all evil

How many times have this topic been discussed? This is one of the favorite topics that have been widely discussed especially in the motivational and wealth creation, get rich column. Many discussion ends up with the conclusion that money is the root of good and not evil. But from my point of view, money is not the main issue in any good or bad events.

First and foremost, let’s talk about what is money. Money, in short, can be any commodity that is used as a mode of payment. In the past, people can use seashells, cigarettes, metal…. Nowadays, we use coins and notes. These are commodities with a value put to it and are commonly recognized and used as a tool for transaction purpose.

Now, how can a tool be the root of all evil or of all good?

Our intentions propel our life and our actions. And these actions we take can lead to good or bad deeds. People will do bad deed for money because they have greed. People will do good deed with money because they have kindness. These are all internal factors that we need to take care of and not the external factors such as money.

We should not focus too much on external factors for all our problems. A lot of the problem in this world occurs because people do not pay much attention to their inner world. Get our inner right and this world will be a better place.

“God said to me: Your task is to build a better world. I answered: How can I do that? The world is such a large, vast place, so complicated now, and I am so small & useless. There’s nothing I can do. But God in his great wisdom said: Just build a better you!”

Being Alone

Being alone is just being alone.
Being lonely is being unhappy about being alone.

A Peep at the Monster

I always have problem with my anger. It always seeps up onto me undetected, took control over me and turns me into a monster. It’s just uncontrollable. So many times, I tell myself not to say those harsh words, throw things around… my god! I’m acting like a complete freaking spoiled child! Totally disgusting, totally uncontrollable. It is so unlike me at times of serene.

I am determined to wipe out this monster in me. I hated it when it took control of me. I even hated myself at times of anger. Overtime however, I discovered that the more I hated it, the more uncontrollable it becomes. Anger can never be able to dissolve anger. I have since learn to accept myself, accept my monster and learn how to deal with him with more understanding.

For the past few times, I took the courage to come face to face with my monster and I ask him who he is. What is anger? Where do you come from? I realized that I have never really known him because I have been rejecting him all along. Whenever he is there, I try to run away from myself, hated myself and refused to look at him. I’m nervous to come face to face with him after such a long time.

But as I begin to see him, I begin to understand him bit by bit. The more I think about a certain event that I dislike, the more powerful he grows. Then he begins to take over me, I am powerless because I already gave him all the power I got. You know at times of anger, we always feel justify to be angry. That’s how we gave him the power and authority to be there.

I think ok, now that I know him, maybe we can live in harmony. Yesterday, however, I saw something that I have never noticed before and I started laughing at myself. There is no monster at all in the first place! My mind is playing a trick on me. This anger that we perceived does not exist anywhere!

It is not a monster, nothing solid, nothing permanent. We think of something that we don’t like and we start to feel uncomfortable in our body, we start to breathe more heavily and this uncomfortable body feeling we call it ‘anger’. The monster we perceived is just in our mind.

Well, I think my monster will still visits me now and then but I think I will not identify with him anymore like in the past.

Assuming Identity

A baby girl was born on earth one fine day and she was without a name and identity. She was given the name Ivy and suddenly, everyone around her starts calling her Ivy. She had not heard of this word before but the adults told her this is her name and she grew up to assume the identity of Ivy.

As a toddler, she hears and sees how the adult around her talk and behave, and she begins to imitate them. Her parents taught her the acceptable ways to behave in public and she learns them. Her parents wanted her to learn piano and ballet and she did as they say. Up till then, she was assuming the identity shaped and molded by her parents and surrounding adults.

As a teenager, she had a best friend and they will buy similar clothes, share similar music, watch similar shows. They influence each other’s behavior and ideas about life. She now has her own ideas and thoughts about her life and she thought she now has her own identity.

She grew up and started working in the society. She wasn’t ready for all the office politics and complicated human relationships. She had many setbacks and she learned how to handle them. Experience is the key. She started to face the reality of life. Having a good EQ is essential to climb up the corporate ladder. She also knows that money is important in this society. She now assumes the identity of a career woman who plays well in office politics and strives for more money.

She fell in love with a man and got married. Years later, she might have children too and she will then assume the identity of a wife and mother. She will then grow old and assumes the identity of grandmother. One fine day, when she leaves this world, she will be lying in the coffin, with no assuming identity.

Who are we? Are we the identity we assume? Identity given by our parents? OR identity given by the society?

Stillness Speaks

Nature can be such a beauty at times. Especially when our mind is quiet and still. I took a glance at this stillness the other day. At that time of stillness, even the fallen leaves look so beautiful. With the soft sunlight casting on the path, soft breeze tapping on my face and the fallen leaves dancing on the floor. At that moment, the world seems to stop. There is only peace and beauty. It is strange that I had never notice their beauty even though I walk pass them everyday. They looked so different that day.... so alive and real. But it only lasted a few minutes.

I think at that moment, my mind was still and my heart was at peace. Somehow when our mind and heart comes together, nature gets more alive. We thought we know the trees we always walk passed but in actual fact we only know the shape and color of the trees. We do not know their real essence and their beauty.

I find that meditation is the best way to calm the mind and connects our heart. It also requires our effort to keep as much attention to the present moment instead of letting our mind wonders wildly.

The problem is our mind is always occupied. Too many worries, about financial and people relationship that keeps our mind busy. The challenge is really on how to still our mind while having to earn a living at the same time. After all, we are living in this modern world and are not retreating in the caves.

I guess finding a balance in our mind and our heart is important to make our lives complete. Only then, we will feel that we are truly living. Otherwise, we are just robots, empty shell walking mindlessly. Without a feel of nature, we are not truly living.

Happiness, Choice and Freedom

Do we have a choice in life to be happy and to be free? I mean who is binding us?

We are bind by our own quest for more money, more happiness and more of everything in life. We always complain about our wife/husband, our work, our life, etc. There are so many things we are unhappy about. How many times have we looked at our life and say “I’m very happy to have all that I have today”?

We all have a choice in life, whether to be happy, to be sad or to enjoy life. Nobody is stopping us from making a choice. A lot of time, we like to compare and judge. That is where all the negativities come from. We judge and we compare and we become dissatisfied.

Given the good and bad things that happened, we tend to put more focus on the bad events. We will magnify them and makes them really impactful.

I have read somewhere that if we are in a room, we will always focus on the things in the room. And we will start to judge and compare about things being too big or too small or beautiful or ugly. We rarely notice the space in the room. Space is everywhere. It’s free and it’s always there. But somehow our focuses are always on the things in the room. Maybe if we focus our attention more on the space, we will stop judging and we will stop the comparison, starts to appreciate the things in it and enjoy the freedom.

Somehow simple things like this require a lot of effort and it may sound idiotic to some.

Every moment of our life is important

Today is my first day writing this blog. I should be excited and delighted but somehow I feel depressed. A colleague in my office had recently met an accident. She was hit by a bus and was in serious condition. Although I don’t even know who this lady is but the fact that life is so vulnerable, it really makes me ponder about my life. Have I lived a meaningful life or have I been wasting my time? How much of my time is spent on work and TV? How much of my time is spent on procrastination?

The problem with we human is that we always think we have a lot of time on hand. And we forgot or we refused to accept the fact that we will leave this world one day. And this one day, we never know when it will come.

Am I being negative about life? I don’t think so. Accepting this fact is so important, as it makes us think and live by the moment. Every moment of our life is important. Understanding and accepting this makes us refocus our energy and activities to important things of our life.

Sometimes I get so lost in my daily schedule that I totally forgot about this fact. Often, we started out with the intention of earning more money to get a better life for ourselves and our family. But in the event of doing so, we pour too much effort into work and we neglected our family and our friends. We lost sight of our main purpose and what is important to us.

I am guilty of doing that. I am also guilty of procrastinating and of wasting too much time doing nothing!

I am still trying….trying to live by the moment and making my life on earth worthwhile. I will keep trying.