Me, My, Mine

Recently, I came across a young child who was diagnosed with leukemia (a cancer of the bone marrow in which abnormal types and amounts of cells are made). The medical team tries to find a matching bone marrow to conduct a bone marrow transplant and finally found one matching bone marrow donor.

When contacted, the donor is more than happy to save a life and his wife is supportive of his decision to donate his own bone marrow. He went through a series of health check and tests. The final consultation with the doctor was quite positive.

In asia culture, it is considered filial to seek parent’s blessing and approval before donating any part of the body. When doing so, he encountered huge disapproval from his parents. Reason being the patient is unrelated and is not necessary to take the risk and cause harm to own health.

It is so sad but I think to certain extent, we are all selfish in certain ways, especially when it comes to things that we deem to belong to us. My son, my bag, my computer. It is ok for someone’s PC to crash but not mine. It is ok for someone to suffer but not me and my family. We just don’t feel the same pain we will feel if these things or events happen to others versus “me”.

It is because of our selfish thoughts that we tend to forget that we are all interdependent in this world. The bread that we eat came about from the effort of many other people. From the people who sell them, to the people who bake them, to the people who sell the flour, eggs, even to the people who plant wheat and rear chicken. How many people that we do not known of are involved in the process?

We cannot live alone in this world, we are interdependent of each other. Only when we discard our selfishness and learn to be grateful to each other, this world will be a better world.

PS: To find out more about donating bone marrow to save lives, please visit

http://www.marrow.org/

http://www.bmdp.org/

The Best Way

The best way to benefit others is to reduce our selfish mind.

Money is NOT the root of all evil

How many times have this topic been discussed? This is one of the favorite topics that have been widely discussed especially in the motivational and wealth creation, get rich column. Many discussion ends up with the conclusion that money is the root of good and not evil. But from my point of view, money is not the main issue in any good or bad events.

First and foremost, let’s talk about what is money. Money, in short, can be any commodity that is used as a mode of payment. In the past, people can use seashells, cigarettes, metal…. Nowadays, we use coins and notes. These are commodities with a value put to it and are commonly recognized and used as a tool for transaction purpose.

Now, how can a tool be the root of all evil or of all good?

Our intentions propel our life and our actions. And these actions we take can lead to good or bad deeds. People will do bad deed for money because they have greed. People will do good deed with money because they have kindness. These are all internal factors that we need to take care of and not the external factors such as money.

We should not focus too much on external factors for all our problems. A lot of the problem in this world occurs because people do not pay much attention to their inner world. Get our inner right and this world will be a better place.

“God said to me: Your task is to build a better world. I answered: How can I do that? The world is such a large, vast place, so complicated now, and I am so small & useless. There’s nothing I can do. But God in his great wisdom said: Just build a better you!”

Being Alone

Being alone is just being alone.
Being lonely is being unhappy about being alone.

A Peep at the Monster

I always have problem with my anger. It always seeps up onto me undetected, took control over me and turns me into a monster. It’s just uncontrollable. So many times, I tell myself not to say those harsh words, throw things around… my god! I’m acting like a complete freaking spoiled child! Totally disgusting, totally uncontrollable. It is so unlike me at times of serene.

I am determined to wipe out this monster in me. I hated it when it took control of me. I even hated myself at times of anger. Overtime however, I discovered that the more I hated it, the more uncontrollable it becomes. Anger can never be able to dissolve anger. I have since learn to accept myself, accept my monster and learn how to deal with him with more understanding.

For the past few times, I took the courage to come face to face with my monster and I ask him who he is. What is anger? Where do you come from? I realized that I have never really known him because I have been rejecting him all along. Whenever he is there, I try to run away from myself, hated myself and refused to look at him. I’m nervous to come face to face with him after such a long time.

But as I begin to see him, I begin to understand him bit by bit. The more I think about a certain event that I dislike, the more powerful he grows. Then he begins to take over me, I am powerless because I already gave him all the power I got. You know at times of anger, we always feel justify to be angry. That’s how we gave him the power and authority to be there.

I think ok, now that I know him, maybe we can live in harmony. Yesterday, however, I saw something that I have never noticed before and I started laughing at myself. There is no monster at all in the first place! My mind is playing a trick on me. This anger that we perceived does not exist anywhere!

It is not a monster, nothing solid, nothing permanent. We think of something that we don’t like and we start to feel uncomfortable in our body, we start to breathe more heavily and this uncomfortable body feeling we call it ‘anger’. The monster we perceived is just in our mind.

Well, I think my monster will still visits me now and then but I think I will not identify with him anymore like in the past.

Assuming Identity

A baby girl was born on earth one fine day and she was without a name and identity. She was given the name Ivy and suddenly, everyone around her starts calling her Ivy. She had not heard of this word before but the adults told her this is her name and she grew up to assume the identity of Ivy.

As a toddler, she hears and sees how the adult around her talk and behave, and she begins to imitate them. Her parents taught her the acceptable ways to behave in public and she learns them. Her parents wanted her to learn piano and ballet and she did as they say. Up till then, she was assuming the identity shaped and molded by her parents and surrounding adults.

As a teenager, she had a best friend and they will buy similar clothes, share similar music, watch similar shows. They influence each other’s behavior and ideas about life. She now has her own ideas and thoughts about her life and she thought she now has her own identity.

She grew up and started working in the society. She wasn’t ready for all the office politics and complicated human relationships. She had many setbacks and she learned how to handle them. Experience is the key. She started to face the reality of life. Having a good EQ is essential to climb up the corporate ladder. She also knows that money is important in this society. She now assumes the identity of a career woman who plays well in office politics and strives for more money.

She fell in love with a man and got married. Years later, she might have children too and she will then assume the identity of a wife and mother. She will then grow old and assumes the identity of grandmother. One fine day, when she leaves this world, she will be lying in the coffin, with no assuming identity.

Who are we? Are we the identity we assume? Identity given by our parents? OR identity given by the society?

Stillness Speaks

Nature can be such a beauty at times. Especially when our mind is quiet and still. I took a glance at this stillness the other day. At that time of stillness, even the fallen leaves look so beautiful. With the soft sunlight casting on the path, soft breeze tapping on my face and the fallen leaves dancing on the floor. At that moment, the world seems to stop. There is only peace and beauty. It is strange that I had never notice their beauty even though I walk pass them everyday. They looked so different that day.... so alive and real. But it only lasted a few minutes.

I think at that moment, my mind was still and my heart was at peace. Somehow when our mind and heart comes together, nature gets more alive. We thought we know the trees we always walk passed but in actual fact we only know the shape and color of the trees. We do not know their real essence and their beauty.

I find that meditation is the best way to calm the mind and connects our heart. It also requires our effort to keep as much attention to the present moment instead of letting our mind wonders wildly.

The problem is our mind is always occupied. Too many worries, about financial and people relationship that keeps our mind busy. The challenge is really on how to still our mind while having to earn a living at the same time. After all, we are living in this modern world and are not retreating in the caves.

I guess finding a balance in our mind and our heart is important to make our lives complete. Only then, we will feel that we are truly living. Otherwise, we are just robots, empty shell walking mindlessly. Without a feel of nature, we are not truly living.