Facing The Rejected Child

I was on the evening flight back to Singapore from Bangkok on Saturday 15 Sept. I was in Bangkok with my mum and my 2 sisters for holiday. The Airasia, budget airline was delayed for an hour at Bangkok airport. The sky was getting dark and some flashes of lightning were seen.

Onboard the plane, a 2hrs flight to Singapore, we came across many instances of air turbulence. My mum was so scared that she held on to her seat belt and awaits the landing at the Singapore Airport. There are times I had a vision of a plane crashing when it lands, the impact split the plane into 2 but there are survival on the plane. Maybe it is my fear or my imaginations that run wild. Never mind all these visions; I landed at Singapore Airport safe and sound. None the less, I lost my Handphone and all my contacts on the cab home.

The next day on Sunday 16 Sept, as I watched the news back home, I was shocked to find that there was really a plane that crashed and split into 2 at in Phuket airport! And there are some survivals onboard! This was not the first time I have visions that did come true. I have always had six sense that tell me what’s going to happen since young. My mum was the one who first realized I have this ability after a few incidents. However, these visions are often not very strong and at times I cannot differentiate which are the visions and which are my imaginations.

There was once when I feel like crying when I was showering but I do not know why. I rushed to put on my clothes and went to the hospital immediately. My grandma was in the hospital at that time. On the way there, I had vision of doctors and nurses rushing to my grandma’s bedside and I was crying all this while. When I reach her, she had already passed away. My dad was surprised to see me there and he relate to me that earlier, my grandma was gasping for air and the doctors and nurses rushed to her bedside, the exact description of what I saw in my vision.

When I was younger, I thought that these things happened because I thought of them and I will feel so bad and guilty about it. As I grew older, I actually got scared of this ability. I cannot differentiate whether it is real or it is my imagination and at times I will become paranoid. I hated and fear this sense and I wanted to avoid that part of me.

All these years I have been ignoring that part of me but the vision I have onboard the Airasia flight made me realized that it will still be part of me even if I ignore it. By rejecting and avoiding that part of me make me less complete and even feel inferior. As I read how Erin Pavilina came to accept her abilities, I hope I can eliminate my fear, embrace and accept it too. I would need much courage to face it and hopefully I can.