Taking a Break

Hi,

Thanks for visiting. I am so glad to have your support!

It's Chinese New Year. I will be away on a short break.

Talk to you soon : )

6 Steps to problem solving

When we face difficulties in life, instead of focusing on the problems, we should focus on the solution. We cannot control people’s actions but we can control our own.

The world does not cause our problems; it is our reactions to the world that causes us the miseries. There may very well be many negative circumstances or events happening in your life at the present moment and there may be nothing you can do to change them. However, you can change your attitude about it and find out exactly what a powerful force that can be.

6 steps to problem solving

1) Gather as much information to access the situation
Know what causes the situation, get your facts right and know the consequences.

2) List precisely what it is holding you back
At time of adversity, we tend to have a lot of negativity. Knowing what is holding you back and what feelings you have or what you are upset about can give you a better idea of how to approach the problem. You might need to consult a friend or need other counseling.

3) Identify what is within your control and what is not
There are things not within our control and they are not worth focusing on. Focusing on the things we can control gives us choices and confidence. Understand that we always have choices. We can choose our attitude and we can choose to change our perspective about our situation. These are the things we can control.

4) Know your capabilities, what you can do and what you can’t
There are times where we need to access our own capabilities and be realistic about what we can do and what we can’t. If it is not within our capabilities, we might jeopardize the whole plan or others involve. There are times where we will need to seek others for assistance.

5) List down the actions you can take
Lists down the choices we have and the actions we can take to resolve the things that is within our control.

6) Decide the actions you are comfortable with
Contemplate for a while, look at the list of choices and actions you have. Once you have the confidence and comfortable with the decision, then it is time to take actions!

Self

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.

~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

Do you believe in Fate?

Do you believe in fate? If you believe that our life is a pre-destined one, then what is the purpose of us living?

I believe that fate do play a part in our life. Things happen for a reason. But if fate controls our life, then what is worth striving for? If we leave it to fate, we became reactive in life and we tend to blame the world and everyone for our failure in life.

There are things that are beyond our controls. We cannot control whom we are born to. We cannot control that we are born poor or born rich. We cannot control accidents that happened in our life, leaving some handicapped by the accidents.

What we can control is how we react to these incidents and how we make used of our life.

Fate is like food ingredients. One person can get the best food ingredients in the world but does not mean that he can cook the best dish. Conversely, the one who get the worst ingredients might not make the worst dish.

There are many examples around us that show the differences in how they make use of their ingredients. One can be born in a wealthy family, go to the best school and have a bright future of becoming a doctor (these are his ingredients, his fate). But he become a drug addict and ruins his bright future. On the other hand, one can be born handicap, his family is not so wealthy but he can become a great motivator and inspiration to the society.

Fate is the raw materials of experience. They come uninvited and often unanticipated. Destiny is what a man does with these raw materials. ~ Howard Thurman

We do have choices in life! If we strictly believe that our life is a pre-destined one, we are left with no choice. Being proactive in our life means taking responsibility for your actions and your situation. Stop blaming the world for whatever happened to you. Make use of the situation and cook a good dish out of it!