6 Steps to problem solving

When we face difficulties in life, instead of focusing on the problems, we should focus on the solution. We cannot control people’s actions but we can control our own.

The world does not cause our problems; it is our reactions to the world that causes us the miseries. There may very well be many negative circumstances or events happening in your life at the present moment and there may be nothing you can do to change them. However, you can change your attitude about it and find out exactly what a powerful force that can be.

6 steps to problem solving

1) Gather as much information to access the situation
Know what causes the situation, get your facts right and know the consequences.

2) List precisely what it is holding you back
At time of adversity, we tend to have a lot of negativity. Knowing what is holding you back and what feelings you have or what you are upset about can give you a better idea of how to approach the problem. You might need to consult a friend or need other counseling.

3) Identify what is within your control and what is not
There are things not within our control and they are not worth focusing on. Focusing on the things we can control gives us choices and confidence. Understand that we always have choices. We can choose our attitude and we can choose to change our perspective about our situation. These are the things we can control.

4) Know your capabilities, what you can do and what you can’t
There are times where we need to access our own capabilities and be realistic about what we can do and what we can’t. If it is not within our capabilities, we might jeopardize the whole plan or others involve. There are times where we will need to seek others for assistance.

5) List down the actions you can take
Lists down the choices we have and the actions we can take to resolve the things that is within our control.

6) Decide the actions you are comfortable with
Contemplate for a while, look at the list of choices and actions you have. Once you have the confidence and comfortable with the decision, then it is time to take actions!

Self

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.

~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

Do you believe in Fate?

Do you believe in fate? If you believe that our life is a pre-destined one, then what is the purpose of us living?

I believe that fate do play a part in our life. Things happen for a reason. But if fate controls our life, then what is worth striving for? If we leave it to fate, we became reactive in life and we tend to blame the world and everyone for our failure in life.

There are things that are beyond our controls. We cannot control whom we are born to. We cannot control that we are born poor or born rich. We cannot control accidents that happened in our life, leaving some handicapped by the accidents.

What we can control is how we react to these incidents and how we make used of our life.

Fate is like food ingredients. One person can get the best food ingredients in the world but does not mean that he can cook the best dish. Conversely, the one who get the worst ingredients might not make the worst dish.

There are many examples around us that show the differences in how they make use of their ingredients. One can be born in a wealthy family, go to the best school and have a bright future of becoming a doctor (these are his ingredients, his fate). But he become a drug addict and ruins his bright future. On the other hand, one can be born handicap, his family is not so wealthy but he can become a great motivator and inspiration to the society.

Fate is the raw materials of experience. They come uninvited and often unanticipated. Destiny is what a man does with these raw materials. ~ Howard Thurman

We do have choices in life! If we strictly believe that our life is a pre-destined one, we are left with no choice. Being proactive in our life means taking responsibility for your actions and your situation. Stop blaming the world for whatever happened to you. Make use of the situation and cook a good dish out of it!

Not reacting to content - Eckhart Tolle

Our Mind is a Constant Battlefield

I recently came across a popular Japanese comic called Death Note. In the story, the character called “Light” happened to receive a black notebook from Death God. This notebook has the power to kill anyone whose name was written on it.

Light is sick of the world, he thinks the world is so unfair and he attempt to use this notebook to kill anyone he thinks is sinful. Having tasted of the power of this notebook, he is attached to the power of control and attempt to play God to build a ‘New World’ free of crimes and free of sins.

It seems like a noble mission at first but it turns out to be just an excuse to support his ambition and egocentric self. In this story, Light is not at peace with himself. He hates his world and his surroundings.

When we look at our world today, there are wars everywhere. There are wars between countries, wars between religions, wars between races, etc. There are constant struggles between human, animals and even Mother Nature, causing great harm and disharmony among the livings.

When we examine these disharmonies, it is often caused by egocentric thinking, supported by a series of excuses and reasoning for a particular action. Man are angry and dissatisfied at themselves, and they directed these anger to the world. We have these constant conflicts within ourselves such as greed, jealousy, hatred, anger, etc. Sometimes, we hated ourselves for behaving in a certain way, we are angry with ourselves for being angry. In attempt to build an ideal world, we cause destructions and use excuses in the name of God, countries, and races.

We might not even be aware of these internal conflicts but these internal struggles are constant. When our mind is not at peace, our world will reflect our conflicting state of mind like a mirror.

Our mind then becomes the biggest battlefield on earth and we can only win this war though peace and compassion. Only when we are at peace with ourselves that the conflicts in our world will cease, love can spread, ignorance dispelled.

From the words of Ven. Dr K Sri Dhammananda

The man who is not at peace with himself, cannot be at peace with the world. There can be no peace in the world until the conflicts of man within himself ended.

War is created by the human mind and the same human can create peace with justice if only man uses his unbiased mind.

Taking care of our mind and body

While we are always busy cleaning our body, buying new clothes and accessories to beautify ourselves, how often do we cleanse our mind?

We can spend hours and hours infront of the mirror, spending a lot of our money and time grooming our external look. We spend money on nutritional products to make sure that our body is healthy, we see the doctor when our body falls ill. Notice that all these efforts that we put in are towards our body.

We have neglected a very important part of us and that is our mind. Our mind, spirit or soul if you like to call it, has a more important role to play in our life than our external look.

We are exposed to many advertisements, conditioning, good and bad information everyday and all these information are stored in our mind. While we are not aware of it, they do have an impact on us.

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment. ~Iara Gassen

The actions that we took and the results that we get in our life are directly related to what is inside our mind. Just like our body, if we eat junk food, our health will deteriorate. If we accumulate junk in our mind, our life will reflect it in a form of messy and unorganized life. If we accumulate stress, we will have depression. If we accumulate violent information, we will react with violent in our actions. If we accumulate love, we will act with love.

We need to maintain a healthy body. We too need to have a healthy mind. Great inspirational teachers know the importance of taking great care of their mind. They are careful not to expose themselves to too much junk and they are selective in the things they read. They spend considerable time taking care of their mind.

A good mind possesses a kingdom. ~Seneca

Start by spending at least 10 mins everyday to have some quiet moments to do some reflections. Our mind is filled with junk and we need some quiet moment everyday to reflect and to see this mess. Only when we see the mess, we can clear it up. Be selective in the books you read and nourish your mind everyday, even if it is just for 10 mins.

How to be happy everyday

I have learned a powerful way to lead a happy life everyday. This powerful and yet simple way is something that we know of but often neglected. It is something that we should have but we tend to take it for granted. This powerful way is have Gratitude to All.

There are so many things to be grateful for but yet, we often rush through life, neglecting things and people. With no sense of appreciate to the things and people in our life, we will tend to take things for granted and our happiness is always short-lived. That makes us unhappy, grumpy and full of complaints.

When we wake up in the morning, be thankful that we are still alive today. When we are served with a meal, good or bad taste, be thankful that we still have food to eat. When we go to work, be grateful that we still have a job. When we are stuck in traffic, be thankful that we have time to relax and rest. Be thankful for the sunshine that gives our world the warm, energy and light.

As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world. ~Adabella Radici

You might be wondering how to be grateful when we are stuck in a difficult situation. Difficult situations are the best moment to test our abilities and to make us grow stronger. The fact that we think this will last forever makes us easily agitated and we think we are stuck in it forever. The fact is all things shall pass. Difficult situation will stay for a while but it will definitely passed.

If you have lived, take thankfully the past. ~John Dryden

When I started practicing being grateful, I feel more happy and more appreciative of the things around me. I complain less and sulk less. I smile more and say more ‘thank you’. Like attracts like. When you show your appreciation to others, they relate likewise to you. I begin to feel the changes in me and my surroundings.

Happiness comes in a simple form of gratitude. Not only will we attract more of what we are grateful for, but we will also attract gratitude from others. Be truly grateful for the opportunities open to you, and give thanks for everything that is manifesting in your life.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton

How I spend the last few days of 2007

Happy new year to everyone! It is already 4th Jan today. What have you done these few days? I was very busy since last week. Busy with wrapping up 2007 and busy preparing for 2008.

I did not go for any count down party. I was busy doing spring-cleaning at home. Spring-cleaning can be a real troublesome chore. Imagine how much dust and stuff have been piled up, tossed aside and now you need to uncover them and clean away the layer of dust on them. As I was clearing away the old and unwanted stuff, I was also wondering why I bought these junks in the first place. I was amazed by the amount of junks I bought! Wow, how much I have contributed to the garbage!

On another hand, I also found some treasures in them. Some useful stuff that I have bought and conveniently chucked aside after buying them. Good that they are finally being put in good used from now on.

As I was clearing these physical stuff, I also took time to clear the junks in my mind. Taking time to reflect on what I have done in 2007 and what can be improved in 2008. I even went for a retreat. It was a good retreat. It helps to clear my mind and slow my pace.

As I slow down my pace, I started to enjoy my surroundings and the peace I have seems to lose. Getting in touch with my inner self again feels so good. I wish I could maintain this peace of mind throughout this year.

Emptying the junks and make way for new stuff in 2008. It is a good way to start a new year. I am now refreshed, tidy up and ready to go.

How about your? How did you spend the last few days of 2007?